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The World Didn't End, What Now?

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  • The World Didn't End, What Now?

    Well, we are still here, so we need to laugh about something. I saw this collection of actual headlines and found some funny. Kind of have to wonder, who pays these editors!!?? Which is your favorite?

    Actual Headlines
    1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
    4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
    5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
    6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
    7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
    8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
    9. Stud Tires Out
    10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
    11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
    13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
    14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
    15. Eye Drops off Shelf
    16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
    17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
    18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
    19. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
    20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
    21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
    22. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
    25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
    26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
    27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
    28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
    29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
    30. War Dims Hope for Peace
    31. If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
    32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
    35. Deer Kill 17,000
    36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
    38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
    42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
    43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
    44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
    45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
    46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
    48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
    49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
    50. Air Head Fired
    51. Steals Clock, Faces Time
    52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
    53. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
    54. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
    55. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    56. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
    57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
    58. Include your Children when Baking Cookies
    "If Howdy Doody runs against him, I'm voting for the puppet." - SkyOwl's Wife, 2012

  • #2
    #8 and 58 are my favorites! Thanks I needed a chuckle this morning! :)
    If the zombies chase us, Im tripping you!!!


    • #3
      #2 and #43 got me, all of them are pretty good reminds me of the one TV reporter Tino Ramos "Police evacuate area after the pneumonia spill" "Police find footsteps leading into the woods, footsteps believed to be the killer itself"


      • #4
        # 9.. must not have been such a stud afterall. lol
        # 23 we should do that more often in Adult court!


        • #5
          Thanks for the laugh. # 22 is good.


          • #6
            I have to go with 10 and 23. lol


            • #7
              I liked #s 7 and 11.

              With #7, I could see Achmed the dead terrorist as a head...looking for his arms.

              When I saw number 11, the thought was twofold in my admittedly warped mind.
              "I'd pay real money to see THAT..." And wondered if the vet lived through it.
              "If Howdy Doody runs against him, I'm voting for the puppet." - SkyOwl's Wife, 2012


              • #8
                man I am twisted I laughed thru all of them LOL


                • #9
                  LOL, welcome to the twist, so did I.

                  I mean, come on! "Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff"

                  That's funny stuff, right thar!
                  "If Howdy Doody runs against him, I'm voting for the puppet." - SkyOwl's Wife, 2012


                  • #10
                    Thanks for the laugh S O's Wife .... anyone seen Slowz?

                    Things are seldom what they seem.


                    • #11
                      A majority of Americans want Joe Biden to secure the porous southern border with tougher immigration policies. But the will of the American people falls on deaf ears under the Biden regime.Customs and Border Protection encountered 221,2020 migrants illegally crossing the southern border in March, marking a 22-year high as the Biden administration releases an...

                      He posted there at 2146 system time. About an hour ago.
                      "If Howdy Doody runs against him, I'm voting for the puppet." - SkyOwl's Wife, 2012


                      • #12
                        Ah .... so he didn't "leave". Seemed like maybe he was makin plans.

                        Things are seldom what they seem.