The World Didn't End, What Now?

[Skyowl's Wife]

Well, we are still here, so we need to laugh about something. I saw this collection of actual headlines and found some funny. Kind of have to wonder, who pays these editors!!?? Which is your favorite?

Actual Headlines

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
9. Stud Tires Out
10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
15. Eye Drops off Shelf
16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
19. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
22. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
30. War Dims Hope for Peace
31. If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
35. Deer Kill 17,000
36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
50. Air Head Fired
51. Steals Clock, Faces Time
52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
53. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
54. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
55. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
56. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
58. Include your Children when Baking Cookies

[maric]

#8 and 58 are my favorites! Thanks I needed a chuckle this morning! :)

[collector]

#2 and #43 got me, all of them are pretty good reminds me of the one TV reporter Tino Ramos "Police evacuate area after the pneumonia spill" "Police find footsteps leading into the woods, footsteps believed to be the killer itself"

[Dawg Fan]

# 9.. must not have been such a stud afterall. lol
# 23 we should do that more often in Adult court!

[PT945]

Thanks for the laugh. # 22 is good.

[Snow Walker]

I have to go with 10 and 23. lol

[Skyowl's Wife]

I liked #s 7 and 11.

With #7, I could see Achmed the dead terrorist as a head...looking for his arms.

When I saw number 11, the thought was twofold in my admittedly warped mind.
"I'd pay real money to see THAT..." And wondered if the vet lived through it.

[TennOutdoors]

man I am twisted I laughed thru all of them LOL

[Skyowl's Wife]

LOL, welcome to the twist, so did I.

I mean, come on! "Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff"

That's funny stuff, right thar!

[Oscar Wilde]

Thanks for the laugh S O's Wife .... anyone seen Slowz?

O.W.

[Skyowl's Wife]

http://www.survivalmagazine.org/survival-forum/showthread.php/4455-HAARP-amp-The-United-Nations?p=41190#post41190

He posted there at 2146 system time. About an hour ago.

[Oscar Wilde]

Ah .... so he didn't "leave". Seemed like maybe he was makin plans.

O.W.