On Craig's List

[nicnap]

I sort of hope that it is true...that was hilarious!

[unswydd]

if this is true it's got me lmao,but what if he doesn't learn?

LOL Ya never know if it's true or not. I got it in an email. I thought it was hilarious and just had to share it! :D

[hammer502]

if this is true it's got me lmao,but what if he doesn't learn?

[unswydd]

> Posted to Craig's List Personals:
>
> To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
> Downtown Savannah night before last.
> Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43AM EST
>
> I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
> hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
> You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
>
> I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
> I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after
> you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
> evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
>
> You see, my girlfriend had
> just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas,
> and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
> Beautiful pistol, eh?
>
> It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at
> your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
> walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
> flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you
> also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I
> couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try
> to mug us again.
>
> I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma"
> as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your
> situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas
> station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy
> with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
> I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go
> Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
>
> I threw the wallet
> in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the
> windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a
> bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your
> bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down
> the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so
> I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
> permanently cut off your service.
>
> I could only get in two threatening
> phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy
> was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the
> number).
>
> I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
> making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
> reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so
> lucky..
> - Alex
>
> P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society! :eek: