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You Might Be A Survivalist If... :D
You can't put your groceries in the trunk of the car because
its already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies,
and fully-stocked BOBs.
Your daily driver car has four wheel drive, three frequency
bands of two way radio, a secondary gas tank, four gascans, and
enough first aid supplies for a small factory.
You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets
as potential emergency rations.
You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.
You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.
You've ever repressed the urge to bleat "BAAAAAAAAAA" as
your neighbor earnestly asks, "do you think the power might go
out? Should we buy some candles?"
You've ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet,
or grains for human consumption through a feed store.
You've got more than one grain mill.
You've ever wondered how you might filter the used water from
your washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.
You have a kerosene lamp in every room and a box of Strike
Anywhere matches next to every kerosene lamp.
Your living room coffee table is actually a board with
pretty cloth over it to disguise your food storage underneath.
Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice
and beans.
You save dryer lint to make fire starters.
Your most commonly-used fuel additive is 'Stabil', instead
of 'Gumout'.
You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon
entering Sam's or Costco.
If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don't know how
long you've had an open jar of mayo in the frig.
Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet
paper, from floor to ceiling, all the way around.
While other people are saving money for new furniture, or
vacations, you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on
your house.
You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with
cheddar cheese in a can.
You've ever served MREs at a dinner party. And then wondered
why your company didn't have three or four edged weapons per
guest, for opening the packages.
You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust
toilets for hours on end.
You've ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your
basement to the nearest stand of trees.
You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter
air in your designated bio-chem attack safe room.
You've ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water
storage purposes. And you already have the filter to make the
water drinkable.
You know what things like 'TSHTF', 'BOB' and 'TEOTWAWKI'
mean.
You have different grades of BOB's.
You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree
of readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the net... but
you've never met your neighbors.
The best radio in the house is a wind-up.
You have better items in storage than you use everyday.
When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.
Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated -15
degrees for Christmas... . and you were moved beyond words.
You've sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your
children's school backpacks.
Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from
your larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.
You're still using up your Y2K supplies.
You can't fit anything more under your deck because it's
already full of propane bottles
You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.
The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first
name. But he doesn't know your last name, or your adress. Cause
you only pay cash there.
You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.
You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.
You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all
grown.
You have several packages of disposable diapers, but no kids
in the house. However, you do have seven or eight alternate uses
for absorbant diapers. From Haz-Mat spill cleanup to large wound
dressing.
You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a
SureFire flashlight and a small concealed handgun on you to
church every Sunday.
You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet
paper.
You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants
you happen to see along the road.
You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter goods for ATSHTF.
You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric
carpet sweeper.
Youhave at least two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones
with the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal, although
you have a gas grill.
You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although
you have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the
water.
You have LED squeeze lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss
Army knife on every family member's keychain.
The people in line at Costco's ask you if you run a store or
restaraunt.
You require a shovel amd forklift to rotate all your preps
properly.
You no longer go the the doctor's because you can either fix
it yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the
physicians desk reference better than he does, and can get the
goods at the vets or pet store for MUCH less moolah anyway.
You know that a 'GPS' has nothing to do with the economy.
You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy
reordering, but have hardcopies in a 3-ring binder 'just in
case.
You've thought about where the hordes can be stopped before
entering town.
You start evaluating people according to 'skill sets'.
You view the nearest conservation area as a potential
grocery store if TSHTF.
You know *all* the ways out the building where you work.
You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to
carbo-load all the runners in the New York marathon.
You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in
the hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.
You know which bugs are edible.
You have a handpump on your well.
You have #10 cans of 'stuff' that the labels fell off of,
but you won't throw it out or open it because it 'may be needed
later', even though you haven't a clue as to the contents.
You know where the best defensive positions and lines of
fire are on your property.
You've made a range card for your neighborhood.
Your toenail clipper is a K-BAR.
The Ranger Handbook is your favorite 'self help' book.
You've numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order
of consumption.
You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to
that leaky pipe, but you have your own hand truck in the basement
to do it.
You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress
shoes combined.
You have more 55gal blue water drums than family members.
Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.
You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which
is a backup for your solar system.
You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25
packs of ketchup and mustard.
You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.
You've had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless
steel handgun to conceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next
to the toliet.
You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency
childbirth kit, just in case you have to deal with that
possibility.
You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but
one is a dummy that's been converted to hideaway safe.
You've made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.
You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden
inside.
Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.
As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son's troop to
set mantraps and punji pits, and haven't been asked to stand in
since.
You're on your fifth vaccum sealer, but you keep at least
one of the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic
bags with it.
You haven't bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh
bananas, apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three
dehydrators.
Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he's
had to lug from his truck to your front door.
You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar
panels and generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.
You have set aside space for your live chickens in the
fallout shelter.
When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the
neighbor's kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator
power.
You must open the door to your pantry *very* carefully for
fear of a canned goods avalanche.
You have a 'Volcano', you know you can cook anything, and
you cast evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle,
muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.
You've learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers
for snares and use an atl-atl, because you fear that all of your
preps and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or
destroyed by earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening
hordes of feral sheeple or reptiloids from 'Planet X' ATSHTF
You can't put your groceries in the trunk of the car because
its already jammed full with emergency kits, first aid supplies,
and fully-stocked BOBs.
Your daily driver car has four wheel drive, three frequency
bands of two way radio, a secondary gas tank, four gascans, and
enough first aid supplies for a small factory.
You have emergency rations for your pets, and view your pets
as potential emergency rations.
You know the news three days before it hits the mass media.
You have back-up plans for your back-up plans.
You've ever repressed the urge to bleat "BAAAAAAAAAA" as
your neighbor earnestly asks, "do you think the power might go
out? Should we buy some candles?"
You've ever bought antibiotics for human use through a vet,
or grains for human consumption through a feed store.
You've got more than one grain mill.
You've ever wondered how you might filter the used water from
your washing machine to make it fit for human consumption.
You have a kerosene lamp in every room and a box of Strike
Anywhere matches next to every kerosene lamp.
Your living room coffee table is actually a board with
pretty cloth over it to disguise your food storage underneath.
Your box springs are Rubber Maid containers filled with rice
and beans.
You save dryer lint to make fire starters.
Your most commonly-used fuel additive is 'Stabil', instead
of 'Gumout'.
You automatically choose the heavy duty flatbed cart upon
entering Sam's or Costco.
If you know the shelf life of tuna fish, but don't know how
long you've had an open jar of mayo in the frig.
Your basement walls are insulated with crates of toilet
paper, from floor to ceiling, all the way around.
While other people are saving money for new furniture, or
vacations, you are desperately saving to get solar panels put on
your house.
You were excited beyond all reason when they came out with
cheddar cheese in a can.
You've ever served MREs at a dinner party. And then wondered
why your company didn't have three or four edged weapons per
guest, for opening the packages.
You can engage in a spirited debate on chemical vs. sawdust
toilets for hours on end.
You've ever considered digging an escape tunnel from your
basement to the nearest stand of trees.
You know how to use a vacuum cleaner in reverse to filter
air in your designated bio-chem attack safe room.
You've ever considered buying an above-ground pool for water
storage purposes. And you already have the filter to make the
water drinkable.
You know what things like 'TSHTF', 'BOB' and 'TEOTWAWKI'
mean.
You have different grades of BOB's.
You know the names, family histories, locations, and degree
of readiness of over a thousand fellow doomers on the net... but
you've never met your neighbors.
The best radio in the house is a wind-up.
You have better items in storage than you use everyday.
When the SHTF, you would eat better than you eat now.
Your significant other gave you a sleeping bag rated -15
degrees for Christmas... . and you were moved beyond words.
You've sewn a secret mini-BOBs into the bottom of your
children's school backpacks.
Local food pantries have come to depend on donations from
your larder when you rotate stock in the spring and fall.
You're still using up your Y2K supplies.
You can't fit anything more under your deck because it's
already full of propane bottles
You have enough army surplus equipment to open a store.
The local army surplus store owner knows you by your first
name. But he doesn't know your last name, or your adress. Cause
you only pay cash there.
You fill up when your gas tank is 3/4 full.
You call Rubber Maid for wholesale prices.
You have several cases of baby wipes and your kids are all
grown.
You have several packages of disposable diapers, but no kids
in the house. However, you do have seven or eight alternate uses
for absorbant diapers. From Haz-Mat spill cleanup to large wound
dressing.
You carry a pocket survival kit, a sturdy folding knife, a
SureFire flashlight and a small concealed handgun on you to
church every Sunday.
You start panicking when you are down to 50 rolls of toilet
paper.
You keep a small notebook to write down any edible plants
you happen to see along the road.
You shop yard sales, store sales, and markdown racks for barter goods for ATSHTF.
You own a hand-operated clothes washer and a non-electric
carpet sweeper.
Youhave at least two of every size of Dutch oven (the ones
with the legs on the bottom), and 20 bags of charcoal, although
you have a gas grill.
You have rain barrels at each corner of your house, although
you have a city water hookup, and a Big Berkey to purify the
water.
You have LED squeeze lights, survival whistle, and a Swiss
Army knife on every family member's keychain.
The people in line at Costco's ask you if you run a store or
restaraunt.
You require a shovel amd forklift to rotate all your preps
properly.
You no longer go the the doctor's because you can either fix
it yourself, make it at home, or know and understand the
physicians desk reference better than he does, and can get the
goods at the vets or pet store for MUCH less moolah anyway.
You know that a 'GPS' has nothing to do with the economy.
You track your preps on a computer spreadsheet for easy
reordering, but have hardcopies in a 3-ring binder 'just in
case.
You've thought about where the hordes can be stopped before
entering town.
You start evaluating people according to 'skill sets'.
You view the nearest conservation area as a potential
grocery store if TSHTF.
You know *all* the ways out the building where you work.
You have enough pasta stockpiled in your basement to
carbo-load all the runners in the New York marathon.
You know that you have 36 gallons of extra drinking water in
the hot water tank and your 2 toilet tanks.
You know which bugs are edible.
You have a handpump on your well.
You have #10 cans of 'stuff' that the labels fell off of,
but you won't throw it out or open it because it 'may be needed
later', even though you haven't a clue as to the contents.
You know where the best defensive positions and lines of
fire are on your property.
You've made a range card for your neighborhood.
Your toenail clipper is a K-BAR.
The Ranger Handbook is your favorite 'self help' book.
You've numbered the deer romping in the yard by their order
of consumption.
You must move 50 cases of food for the plumber to get to
that leaky pipe, but you have your own hand truck in the basement
to do it.
You own more pairs of hiking boots than casual and dress
shoes combined.
You have more 55gal blue water drums than family members.
Your UPS system has more than 6 Deep cycle batteries.
You have a backup generator for your backup generator, which
is a backup for your solar system.
You go to McDonalds and ask for one order of fries with 25
packs of ketchup and mustard.
You have ever given SPAM as a serious gift.
You've had your eye out for a good deal for a stainless
steel handgun to conceal in the bottom of the magazine rack next
to the toliet.
You are single male over 40, but you still have an emergency
childbirth kit, just in case you have to deal with that
possibility.
You have two water heaters installed in your basement, but
one is a dummy that's been converted to hideaway safe.
You've made bugout cargo packs for your dogs.
You have a walking stick with all sorts of gadgets hidden
inside.
Your koi pond is stocked with catfish.
As a stand-in scoutmaster, you taught your son's troop to
set mantraps and punji pits, and haven't been asked to stand in
since.
You're on your fifth vaccum sealer, but you keep at least
one of the worn out ones because you can still seal up plastic
bags with it.
You haven't bought dried fruit in years, but you buy fresh
bananas, apples, peaches and pears by the case and have three
dehydrators.
Your UPS man hates you because of all the cases of ammo he's
had to lug from his truck to your front door.
You have duplicates of all your electronics gear, solar
panels and generator parts in your EMP-shielded fallout shelter.
You have set aside space for your live chickens in the
fallout shelter.
When the power goes out in your neighborhood, all the
neighbor's kids come over to your place to watch TV on generator
power.
You must open the door to your pantry *very* carefully for
fear of a canned goods avalanche.
You have a 'Volcano', you know you can cook anything, and
you cast evil glances at your neighbor's annoying, yappy poodle,
muttering "your day will come, hotdog" under your breath.
You've learned to knap flint, make twine from plant fibers
for snares and use an atl-atl, because you fear that all of your
preps and hard work will be confiscated by FEMA troops or
destroyed by earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear blasts, ravening
hordes of feral sheeple or reptiloids from 'Planet X' ATSHTF
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