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Top 21 Chuck Norris Facts

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  • Visinedrops
    Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through LAND!

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  • prkchp76
    jeff foxworthy is famous because chuck norris let him be a redneck

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  • Brosia
    chuck Norris is da man!

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  • Long_Hunter
    started a topic Top 21 Chuck Norris Facts

    Top 21 Chuck Norris Facts

    You may have seen these before, but I snicker every time I read'em.

    1. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
    2. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
    3. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
    4. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
    5. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
    6. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
    7. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
    8. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
    9. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
    10. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
    11. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
    12. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
    13. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
    14. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV.
    15. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
    16. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
    17. There is no “control” button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    18. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
    19. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
    20. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
    21. Google doesn’t search for Chuck Norris because you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.