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Twelve Days of Christmas in Cajun Land

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  • Twelve Days of Christmas in Cajun Land

    Twelve Days of Christmas in Cajun Land

    This is an oldie that I dressed up just a little bit. (BTW Thibeau is not Thibodeaux misspelled.)


    Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Tanks for de bird in a pear tree. I fix it las’ night with Jambalaya. I doan tink de pear tree will grow inna swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.

    Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille sausage and made some good gumbo out of dem.

    Day 3: Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I’m tired of eating dem birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou and fed de turd one to my dog Phideaux.

    Day 4: Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieu! I tol you no more a dem birds. Deez four, what you call dem “calling birds” were so noisy you could hear dem all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, and fed de rest of dem to de gators.

    Day 5: Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen’ something useful. I like dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem over at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuff money to fix da shaft on my shrimp boat and buy a round for da boys at de Raisin’ Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoup!

    Day 6: Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you big honking ole turkey! Poor egg suckin’ Phideaux is scared to death at dem six geeses. He tried to eat dems eggs and dey peck de heck out a his snout. Dey good at eating cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem with erster dressing.

    Day 7: Dear Boudreaux, I’m gonna wring your fool neck next time I cast eyes on you. Thibeau, da mailman is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is stinking up his mailboat. He's afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue him good. I let dose seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to YOU tomorra.

    Day 8: Dear Boudreaux, Mais cher! Poor ole Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and all their cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat! I doan like dem shiftless maids, me no. I tolt dem to get to work guttin fish and sweeping the floor, but no. Dey say it wasn’t in dair contract. Dey probably tink de too good ta skin nutrias I caught las night, f’sure.

    Day 9: Dear Boudreaux, What for you tryin to do huh? Thibeau had to borry the whole Lutcher ferry to carry dem jumpin’ twits you call “Lords-a-leaping” ‘cross da bayou. As soon as dey gots here, dey wanted a tea break with crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, “Well, La-Dee-Da. You gets Chicory coffee or nuttin.”

    Mon Dieu, Emile! What I’m gonna feed all dese bozos? Dey too snooty for fried nutria, and de cows done eat all my turnip greens.

    Day 10: Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs you mind! If de mailman don’t kill you, I will f’sure. Today he deliver in da mailboat, 10 half nekid floozies from Bourbon Street, all the way from N’Awlins. He said dey be “Ladies-a-Dancing” but dey doan act like ladies in front of dose Limey twits.

    All a dem almos' left for good after one of dem go bit by a water moccasin over by da outhouse. I had to butcher two whole cows to feed toute le monde and had to get terlit paper. The Sears catalog wasn’t good enuff for dose hoity toity Lords’ royal beehines.

    Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, Where y’at? Cheerio and pip pip! Your eleven pipers piping arrives today on the mailboat. Dey musta come from de House of Blues, second lining as soon as de got off de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya too, finished all da whiskey and we having a fine fais-do-do. Da new mailman, he drink a bottle of Jack Daniel and he having a good time, yeah, dancing with all de floozies. Thibeau, he jump off de Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious, ticking package in de mail, doan open it. Hit’s prolly a goodbye present from the old mailman.

    Day 12: Dear, dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tole ya, but I ‘taint your true love anymore, no. After fais-do-do, I spent de night talking with Jacques, de head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentleman’s club on de bayou. De floozies, pardon me, Ladies-a-Dancing, can make $20 for a table dance, and de Lords can be waiters and valet park de boats and pirogues. Since de maids doan have no more cows ta milk, I trained dem ta set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, an run my shrimping bidness. We will prolly gross a million whole clams next year.
    Genius is making a way out of no way.

  • #2
    That's pretty good. LOL.

    Comment


    • #3
      This is good Griz. Thanks for sharing.
      The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

      Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are stupid, and make bad decisions.

      Comment


      • #4
        Mais cher! How could I not? I am so homesick I can't think of much else anyway. Nothing worse than a homesick Cajun...
        Genius is making a way out of no way.

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh MY!! From Cajun country to Alaska? That is like moving to another planet. I would imagine it is especially tough in the Winter. I moved from Southern Arizona to Missouri. That was hard enough.
          The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

          Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are stupid, and make bad decisions.

          Comment


          • #6
            Not Alaska...although it may as well be because those of us who have lived in deepest, darkest Louisiana regard anything north of Shreveport as the land of the Polar bears anyway.

            Winter is very, very surreal to me now! Back home, winter meant putting up Christmas lights in your shorts. Like this:

            https://www.facebook.com/djrhettlive...6961583349779/
            Last edited by GrizzlyetteAdams; 12-04-2018, 10:29 AM.
            Genius is making a way out of no way.

            Comment


            • #7
              That is a fun video. That is definitely how we put up lights in Arizona. Missouri is more of a mixed bag. Put them up early, say around Thanksgiving, you are probably O.K. Wait much longer, and you are going to have to find the right day. Winter has come early this year. We have already had several snows. I had read long term forecasts that said this would be a pretty harsh Winter.

              I have actually seen the Trans-Siberian Orchestra live. They were very good. I would recommend the show.
              Last edited by Morgan101; 12-05-2018, 09:27 AM.
              The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

              Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are stupid, and make bad decisions.

              Comment


              • #8
                I can imagine you are never bored with Missouri weather. The weather guys have so much fun with it, tho. LOL.

                Trans-Siberian Orchestra... I didn't know it was thing until DJ Rhett and you mentioned it. Went messing around on Youtube, and I have to agree with you, they ARE good!
                Genius is making a way out of no way.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I have heard that the convergence of the rivers wreaks havoc with the weather here. Predominant winds are southeasterly coming up the Mississippi. The real fun starts when the southeasterly winds meet with the Western fronts that follow the Missouri. They run into each other and stop. Both fronts dump everything here.

                  It is not uncommon to have temperature swings of over 50 degrees in a day. The standard line (although a lot of areas make the same claim) is " If you don't like the weather here wait fifteen minutes and it will change. "

                  Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a lot like Mannheim Steamroller. A little more techy, and a lot more flashy with pyrotechnics and what not. Well worth seeing if they are in your area.
                  The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

                  Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are stupid, and make bad decisions.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Morgan101 View Post
                    I have heard that the convergence of the rivers wreaks havoc with the weather here. Predominant winds are southeasterly coming up the Mississippi. The real fun starts when the southeasterly winds meet with the Western fronts that follow the Missouri. They run into each other and stop. Both fronts dump everything here.

                    It is not uncommon to have temperature swings of over 50 degrees in a day. The standard line (although a lot of areas make the same claim) is " If you don't like the weather here wait fifteen minutes and it will change. "
                    So it must be like this in Missouri?

                    Mother Nature, you cannot fit all four seasons in one week.

                    Missouri: Hold my beer.
                    Genius is making a way out of no way.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Morgan, I think where I live our weather is much like yours but not all the snow. We have had about a 50 degree difference in weather from yesterday, cold to wet and warm today. No wonder so many people get sick this time of year. Freezing one day and hot the next.

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