ATTENTION - ROADS CLOSED THIS WEEKEND

For those of you, who might be considering a road trip, be advised:

Portions of I-64, I-70, I-29, and I-90 will be closed this weekend.
Expect long delays along these interstate highways plus major traffic
disruptions in Charleston, WV, Louisville, KY, St Louis, MO, Kansas
City, MO, and Omaha, NE.

A 500-ton piece of coal is being moved from West Virginia to South
Dakota so that Barack H. Obama can be added to Mount Rushmore.


Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE