Funny, but would work well.

[monet861]

How to install a home security system



1. Go to the Goodwill Store and buy a pair of men's work boots, size 14-16 (well used).

2. Place them on the front porch along with a copy of "Gun and Ammo magazine".

3. Put a couple of BIG dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a handwritten note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba!

Big Jim, Duke, Slim and Me went for more ammo....be back in about 1

hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls--they got after the mailman this

morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in

it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all

the dogs in the house. Just wait outside till we get back.



Cooter

[Brosia]

[Big_Saw]

Love It!!!!!!!!

[Kimber]

Thats great

[OneBadPig]

Lol-a-Rama!!
It reminds of how if you see members of a certain religious sect going door to door on your street, draw a chalk outline of a body near your front door and scatter some of their literature around.

[RossA]

Could be one of the cheapest anti-infiltration devices around!
Of course, that's assuming that the intruders can read.

[TheUnboundOne]

Howdy, OneBadPig!

Now OneBadPig, That's not at all nice! It's always much more fun to meet that certain sect with copies of The Night Before Christmas or maybe some chocolate crosses at Easter.

:D ;)

[TheUnboundOne]

Monet861,

That is hilarious! It reminds me of a collection of anti-burglar signs I saw in Mad Magazine!

:D :D :D :D

[OneBadPig]

Howdy, OneBadPig!

Now OneBadPig, That's not at all nice! It's always much more fun to meet that certain sect with copies of The Night Before Christmas or maybe some chocolate crosses at Easter.

:D ;)

Now i am laughing my guts out remembering the time two very polite young men (wearing ties & riding bicycles) came to my door.
Heres the funny part... they had stopped by the day before and my wife told them come back tomorrow my husband would like to talk to them.
We did have a nice little chat, now i regret not asking them more about food storage.

[Vicious Ignernt]

We did have a nice little chat, now i regret not asking them more about food storage.

LOL :D LOL

You had them right there!
AND you let them go!
Now that's ignernt.

LOL :D LOL

Oh man, thanks! That's the funniest story I've heard in a while. Thanks.

[OneBadPig]

Yah, it was ignernt....but not vicious. Some call me passive/aggressive stoopid:D
I really am polite, you can ask Rusty. My disposition could best be described as that of an Amish Kickboxer. Since i'm not a liberal, i dont feel i have license to criticize anyones religion (even if you bring it to MY door). But if you do drop by be prepared to answer some questions.
For Unbounds' amusement i will now relate one of my (polite) encounters with another group famous for literature distribution.
Them: (something about 1000 years of heaven on earth)
Me: "I have several religious friends who differ greatly on whether that 1000 years is literal or figurative. They also disagree about heaven being a physical state. The question i need answered now is the same question Jesus asked his disciples.....who do you say that I am???
Them: "nice talking to you, gotta go!"

[Rustyshakelford]

Yah, it was ignernt....but not vicious. Some call me passive/aggressive stoopid:D
I really am polite, you can ask Rusty. My disposition could best be described as that of an Amish Kickboxer. Since i'm not a liberal, i dont feel i have license to criticize anyones religion (even if you bring it to MY door). But if you do drop by be prepared to answer some questions.
For Unbounds' amusement i will now relate one of my (polite) encounters with another group famous for literature distribution.
Them: (something about 1000 years of heaven on earth)
Me: "I have several religious friends who differ greatly on whether that 1000 years is literal or figurative. They also disagree about heaven being a physical state. The question i need answered now is the same question Jesus asked his disciples.....who do you say that I am???
Them: "nice talking to you, gotta go!"

Yep. Very nice fella. Wish he would move out here to West Texas. Need more folks like him in my neighborhood.

[Vicious Ignernt]

One Bad Pig,
An Amish Kickboxer? Where do you get this stuff?
That's funny stuff, man. Great stuff. Great sense of humor.
Really helps to have that kind of humor in your life.
(FYI, I've learned that laughter is one of the most vicious non-lethal weapons!):cool: